This web site is STRICTLY a site for education but until the Department of Justice
obscenity prosecutions become more clearly defined we are
self-censoring our web site and removing any material that might be questionable
in eyes of the anti-obscenity squad. We certain hope that DOJ does not mix/confuse
education sites with obscenity.
For more information on the topic
above and/or the example of what could occur see Electric Switch's book.
Having been involved in BDSM for over 25 years, I find
folks wish definitions and terminology clarified. Below is
something I put together long ago for those new or just
starting out. This covers much but it doesn’t cover every
term used so as not to overwhelm you. (After you digest
these feel free to see my dictionary for over 400 terms and definitions)
There are no protocols or rules in BDSM,
except the ones between those involved. There is normal
manners and courtesy just like the rest of society. So just
because you claim yourself to be a Dom/me don’t expect to
treat submissives as if they were your submissive, that is
NOT OKAY. Just because you claim yourself to be a submissive
don’t expect Dom/mes to treat you as if you are theirs, that
is NOT OKAY.
First off, not everyone will agree on
"definitions" or “terminology”...but this has helped many
"newbies". Just remember definitions and terminology only need
to be clear between those involved in the activity
together.
* 24/7- 24 hours a day 7 days a week
* BDSM- Bondage Discipline Sadism
subbie masochism Master/Mistress. BDSM is not a
psychological disorder.
*boi- Are usually female submissive's or bottoms and usually have a female Daddy. They are typically masculine or "butch".
*Bondage- Those who participate in being tied
to objects.
* bottom- A term used for most that "play" in
the submissive role. Gives up control but only for the play
time.
*boy- Are usually male submissive's or bottoms and usually have a male Daddy.
* CBT- Cock and ball torture, often including the
scrotum.
* Communication- Something that is very important
to all involved.
* Contract- An agreement entered into by
all people involved in the relationship, usually for a
specific period of time.
* D/s- Domination and submission.
*
Daddy- A dominant man or a woman who is the father figure to a
boy/boi.
*
Dom/me- The person in
charge, the one that does things to someone else.
* Dominissive- Person who enjoys both Dom/me and submissive
roles.
* Edge Play- Something that is on the edge of one’s
limits. Be aware what is edge play to someone might not be to
someone else.
* Endorphins- Chemicals produced by your body
that give you a state of ecstasy and pleasure.
* EPE-
Erotic Power Exchange (usually a term for those just "playing"
with others involved in the "scene" sometimes used in
conjunction with TPE).
*see below for more details.
* Feedback- Letting each other know how things felt to
them.
* Fetish- Attraction or attachment to an idea or
object. Examples- Leather, uniforms, black attire.
* Fisting- To take one's entire hand and insert into an orifice
and slowly curl hand into a fist for fucking.
* Flogging-
To hit someone with something similar to a cat o' nine
tails.
* Flogged: To be hit with an instrument usually made
of leather strips.
* Golden Showers- Where the Dom/me
urinates on the bottom, drinking of the urine might be part of
this play.
* Humiliate-
To hurt, the pride or dignity of someone. This is rarely
used in BDSM. Erotic humiliation is usually what
occurs. Forcing one to over come inhibitions and do
things they normally wouldn't. Just remember what
humiliates one person, may not humiliate another.
*
Immobilization- Usually done with rope or
saran wrap to create a helplessness in the bottom. Some also
call this mummification.
* Internal Enslavement- "Internal
Enslavement" and "Total Power Exchange" cover much of the same
ground. Internal Enslavement is to take possession of a slave,
in a consensual context. Dealing with a slave's thoughts,
emotions and past experiences and establish and maintain a
solid and inescapable state of ownership. This is achieved
through control of the slave's psychological states, in
contrast to external enslavement where the submissive to be
enslaved consents at the start of the process.
* Life-stylers- Those who live and are actively involved in S/m
or D/s on a daily basis...Including TPE/EPE
relationships.
* Limit- A place a person believes they do
not wish to go. Limits are always changing and being tested
and/or expanded. Things that are a limit today might not be 6
months from now. Usually limits occur were the
activity/stimulation ceases to be enjoyable or satisfying or a
psychological place where one can’t cope.
* Marks-
Something that might happen during the course of play. Bruises
are the most common “mark.”
* Markings- Commonly done when 2
enter into full time relationships. Typical markings- branding,
piercing or tattoo.
* Masochism- Getting of pleasure, often
sexual, from being hurt or humiliated.
* Master/Mistress A
title/term for those that "live" as a Dom/me. Webster's- A man
who rules others or has control over something.
* Mentor- A
tutor, a coach, a guide, a trusted counselor.
* Munch- A
set time and place where people with BDSM interest gather for
a meal and usually discussion.
* Negotiation- What is done
before play or a long term relationship where both people
state what they will and will not accept from each other.
*
Newbie-Someone new to BDSM scene/lifestyle.
* Old Guard-
Born out of the end of WWII, by gay leather men. Code words
were used: 'Do you play the mandolin or the saxophone?' to
discover which of them was the masochist or the sadist by the
first letter of these instruments. For the era and the times,
The Old Guard and its rigid social structure and
manners/protocols were needed. The Old Guard will always be
around, it is tradition.
* Owner- A term used for those
that “live” as an Owner of their property.
* Play- To act in a specific way.
* Players-
Those that enjoy the erotic aspects of Power Exchange but not
wishing to live the lifestyle, or those wishing to expand
their "vanilla lives.
* Property- A term used for those
that “live” as property to their Owner.
* Punishment- There
is punishment within play, called play punishment. These are
usually activities done so the bottom gets enjoyment from
them. Discipline punishment is real and is painful.
* Quick
release- A device to quickly get a person free without needing
to spend time in an emergency situation.
* RACK-Risk Aware
Consensual Kink
* Role Playing- For those that wish to be
somebody else for a specific period of time. Examples: School
teacher/student, Pirate/captive, Officer/private,
Burglar/victim, Pimp/hooker, Parent/child, Noble/servant,
Sultan/concubine, etc.
* Sadism- Getting pleasure from
mistreating others.
* Safeword- This is something the
bottom/submissive can use to slow down or stop whatever is
being done to them. Dom/mes can also use safewords, but is
less common.
* S.A.M. or Sammie- Smart ass masochist. SAMs
can be a lot of work, especially if they are the type to
attempt to control everything the Top does, your energy will
be spent trying to control them.
* Sassy (this is a term I
came up with) Smart assed submissive/slave. To me it's much better
to say “don’t sas me” or “my we are sassy tonight” than using
term sam/sammie.
* Scene- Those "players" would go to "play
parties" for non-vanilla play. To some it is also pre-planned
play with possible role-playing.
* SSC- Safe Sane
Consensual
* Slavegirl/boy- A title/term for those that
"live" as a submissive. Webster's- A human being who is owned
as property by another; a person having no freedom or personal
rights.
* S/m- Sado Masochism
* submissive- The person
not in charge, the one that has things done to them by someone
else. To yield to the control or power of another.
* Squick
(term I help make popular)- A term used to say that is way
beyond me..."that squicked me"
* Switch- Person who enjoys
both Dom/me and submissive roles
* Top-A term used for most
that "play" in the Dom/me role. The one that controls things
but only for the play time.
* Topping from the bottom-
where the sub directs the Top what to do or how to do things
to them.
* TPE- Total Power Exchange (usually no safewords
used, usually those 24/7). Considered negotiated
codependence.
*see below for more details.
* Vanilla-
Not a person into BDSM. Ingrained society
norms and referred to as "mainstream." Pro-creation
sex between a man and woman.
* Weekend Warrior- Those that wish to experience
BDSM sensations only in the bedroom or at a “play
party.”
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